I had the misfortune of experiencing the devastation of pneumonia recently. What I thought was flu with some chest congestion, quickly morphed into a near death experience. I’m stubborn. I thought I’d be able to fight it and did start to feel a bit better. Then, I went back to work, after taking a few days off. That was a big mistake. Three massages in one day set me back over 10 days. The night before I went to urgent care, had me thinking I was going to die. I coughed up bloody phlegm and had a high fever. I imagined my eyeballs cooking in their sockets.
I never thought I’d be grateful, to be living with my parents. My mom took me to urgent care. I was so wiped out I could hardly fill out the forms. A quick exam and chest x-ray confirmed my fear. Pneumonia, still in the early stage. What!? People let it go farther than this? Thank goodness for modern medicine. Antibiotics and an inhaler began the healing process.
No one tells you about the intense exhaustion. It was all I could do to drag myself 10 feet to the bathroom. Brushing my teeth was a task that left me winded. A shower was like an Olympic event. I was so weak I couldn’t even read. Meditation and getting back to my dream work was all I could do between fever, chills and coughing up horrible things.
I’ve worked through a lot of childhood trauma and have been able to let a lot of it go. I’ve realized, that when I was most unhappy, was when I was in a relationship. I don’t like being a possession that apparently needs “fixing”. I have always been my own best friend. My cat is a true familiar, and was such a soft, supportive creature. I could see the worry in her eyes. My mom’s soft boiled eggs are healing magic.
I lost about 20lbs. My sweet tooth, that used to rule my taste buds, is now a meek, little kitten. I’m craving fresh fruits and vegetables. Spring rolls are now my favorite food. Jamba Juice was a life saver!
After being ill for about 3 weeks, I’m still, feeling tired. I try to get things done and my body reminds me. “Hey, cupcake. You almost died and you’re still healing. Slow it down and take a nap.” My boss has been very supportive of my healing process and put me on light duty for a week. I didn’t realize how many people/clients have experienced pneumonia till I mentioned my fight with it. Everyone is stunned that I’m up and working “so soon”. I’ve been feeling like a weenie. I have never been this sick and I never want to be, again. It all started with me bragging about my immune system. Now, I warn my son to stop bragging about his. Life has a way of keeping you humble.
My self care game is a lot more serious, now. No more guilt. I have also learned a lot about surrender and gratitude. All good lessons, but damn! what a price to pay.