I recently went to a class for working with domestic violence survivors, as a body worker. I was one of three students. The teacher is a LMT and a licensed counselor. A simple, 3 hour class. Or that’s what I was expecting.
5 minutes in, I realize we have a professional victim in the class. The other student is deep, in the domestic violence scene as an advocate. I’ve experienced domestic abuse and have gone through group therapy. None of us are new to the information being presented. I wanted to have better skills in communication and resources to offer anyone who might need it.
The professional victim is the reason I stopped going to group counseling. She shows up with a bag full of shit and creates a nest/safe space. Letting everyone know, right away, how fragile she is. Energetically and verbally ripping open old wounds and bleeding out for everyone to see. They refuse to heal and cling tightly to their victim-hood. As if that’s what defines them. Oh, don’t you DARE say or do anything that might trigger them. And your experiences are always less valid than theirs. You got off easy. You didn’t suffer like them, so you should be ashamed of saying anything. How dare you!
My jaw was aching after the class because I had to keep it clenched. Fearing my mouth would go off like a Howitzer. “This class isn’t about you, cunt!” “This isn’t a competition.” “Shut the fuck up and let the teacher teach.” “No wonder other therapists bailed on you. You’re a high maintenance, pathetic bitch who is never satisfied with anything.” “Fuck you, cunt stain. I suffered less than you because I had the spine to get out a lot sooner than you did.”
This woman instantly corrected me whenever I said anything. Apparently, she lives for this. Armed with recent statistics and always bringing up her own experiences to refute anything I said. The worthless teacher did nothing. She allowed this professional victim to hijack her class. When I mentioned that the SCOTUS passed a law to keep domestic abusers from getting guns. BOTH students verbally attacked me. Almost yelling at me how easy it is for them to circumvent the law and they can kill you with their bare hands, bla, bla, you’re wrong, stop celebrating. The teacher stood there with her thumb up her ass. I almost screamed back. “Thanks for smearing shit on that happy thought, ladies.” Great, both these cunts are scab pickers. They see violence from men everywhere. All men are monsters and women are perpetual victims. FUCK THAT!
Needless to say. I’m not going to specialize in domestic abuse survivors. I have little to no patience with people who want to wallow in their pain and continually rip open old wounds to keep them fresh. Just to get sympathy. I know someone who’s been in an abusive marriage for over 35 years. They pat themselves on the back for being a good, loyal wife. I can’t stand that martyr mentality. Whatever helps you sleep at night. Just don’t expect me to bring a cake to your pity party.