So, apparently I was born with a gift. Okay, I have many gifts, but we’ll just narrow down today’s subject to one.
I am adept at generating and moving energy. My maternal grandmother had the gift, too. Unfortunately, she was never trained to use it. She could sooth and ease pain, but ended up taking other’s, negative energy on. I got into “psychic” energy stuff at an early age, before I knew anything about it. Through trial and error, and lots of reading. I began to understand wtf was going on with me. I am by no means, a master at energy work, but with lots of practice, patience, and being kind to myself. I am a whole lot better than I was and get better all the time. I have been graced with teachers from both sides of the coin. Light/Dark, Good/Bad. Positive/Negative. Call it what you like.
Anger is a powerful energy. I learned this lesson, as a pissed off teenager. When someone was intentionally mean to me. I could feel an aura around me. As if I were going super nova. When the hurt was bad enough I was focused like a laser and became an agent of karma. Injury, illness and general, bad luck swarmed the targets of my rage. I know now that I’ll be paying that karmic bill for a long time. Had I been born into Buddhist family, instead of a Catholic one, things might be different. But, I wasn’t and here I am.
Psychic vampires, needy souls and malevolent people are draining.
We’ve all run into these people. It’s great, when you have the luxury of running in the opposite direction. As a massage therapist/light worker, I don’t always have that option. I really can’t praise my teachers enough for explaining the need, and how to protect myself in a way that is caring and compassionate for both parties. Not all energy suckers know what they’re doing. They just know that they feel fantastic after being with you, while you need to take a nap. When you ground and shield yourself, these types of people are not so much a problem. They need love and compassion and don’t seem to know how to ask nicely for it. This is when I utilize, the little Reiki training I have. A Reiki Master was a client of mine and was so amazed at my natural abilities, she gave me an attunement for a tip. WOW! What an awesome gift. So, now I can draw energy from the universe and nothing is drained from me. Everybody wins.
Then, we have the malevolent beings, who know what they’re doing and take a perverse pleasure out of targeting generous spirits. Some might call them sociopaths. They come on all sweet, caring and full of light and love. That’s when my bullshit alarm goes off. I’ve met too many people who claim to be light workers. Speak in new age cliches and dress in the “appropriate” fashion. Me thinks someone is trying too hard. They also, vehemently deny any darkness or shadow in their world. “I’m all love and light.” is one of my favorite sayings. When I play devil’s advocate and asked how they banished all the darkness from their life. They give a strained smile. Maybe pull out a crystal or burn some sage and say in a sickly, sweet voice. “I only believe in benevolent, light beings.” This of course invokes a strong gag reflex, in me. I have bailed from circles because of people like this. They have everyone fooled and no one wants to hear my warning. They hide behind a mask of light, fairy dust and bullshit. I see through the cracks. They know I know and suddenly, I’m being a target. It’s a sick game. One I have no patience for. If no one wants to listen to my warning, that’s fine. Some lessons need to be learned the hard way. What I can’t stand is being attacked by people, who I thought were friends, because they’ve come under the spell of the “vampire”. That’s when I pack it up, walk across the bridge, flip them all off and set the bridge on fire. I’d watch the ensuing carnage while toasting marshmallows, but that would be mean.
In my work life, I’ve had clients actually tell me that I have delicious energy. It creeps me the fuck out! Some, just enjoy the overflow and don’t drain. They actually add some of their own to the session and everyone wins. That’s fine. It’s the ones who take all the “free” energy I have and begin to try and siphon even more. These are the professionals. The dangerous ones who find a chink in your armor and stab the straw in and drink deeply. The first time is my bad. I underestimated a new client and they got more than I was willing to give. Next time won’t be so easy. I had a client get mad at me for denying him his feast. I refused a lot of money and a long drive, because I knew.. Good riddance. My well being and self respect are priceless.
Now, the real light workers I’ve met don’t prance around, calling themselves light workers/healers. They know themselves and their very beings radiate this fact. They are beautifully, flawed, goofy, balanced, scarred, tired, loving, generous, adventurous, wise and willing to call me and others out when they sense bullshit. Oh, please, call me out when my ego gets out of hand and/or I’m having a fit of stupidity. I’m a science nerd and love physics. The more I learn, the more I realize that the ancients knew this shit. They just didn’t want to be bothered with the math. haha!
I love this work. It’s a good teacher in itself. It’s humbling and ecstatic at times. It’s taught me a lot about human nature with it’s strengths and weaknesses. Just when I think I’ve got things figured out.. I realize I don’t. I do the best I can and hope to be better, tomorrow. Tuck and roll, baby.