Ahh, another week, full of lessons. I won’t bore you with the details. I just need to breath and allow myself to process.
Reconnecting with an old friend from another, broken circle. We’ve both changed, a lot. You think old wounds have healed, completely, but the itch of healing returns. Okay, I’ll re-visit some achy memories. Spring cleaning isn’t just about your house.
Yeah, it’s like that. I’ve stared into the abyss, and when it stared back.. I poked it in the eye. We don’t brawl anymore. Just snark on each other from time to time, with the occasional, game of “made you flinch”. Keeps me on my toes.
As a massage therapist in Tucson, it’s the beginning of the slow season. I’m working on art and cleaning my house, a bit at a time. When fishermen can’t go out to sea, they repair their nets. It’s also warming up enough for me to get topless and hopefully, finish this tattoo on my back. Oh, FYI. Being cold and shivering makes getting a tattoo hurt worse.
I know, right!? Weird, vulnerable, kind and hurt people are awesome! They usually make the best teachers. I’m not writing a whole lot this week. Just posting things that say it better than I could. My personal, spiritual work is too much to post, and who wants to hear someone else’s story when you have your own? Besides, I’ve been in circles where some people feel free to critique your process. Instead of listening quietly and keeping their snarky shit to themselves. Thank you Starshine, but I don’t think a liberal dash of forced laughter and glitter will make my situation better. Fuck you, very much. That’s another thing that’s come up. I’m constantly invited to join journey dance, ecstatic dance, yoga retreats and other, group activities. Part of me would love to go and be social with those huggy, vegan, spiritual people. But, then I remember. I don’t belong with them. I love the energy and intent, but would much rather be in a mosh pit, or in nature, alone or with a very small group of friends. You see, my tolerance for masked people is very low. I’m like a wolf who can smell out a wounded deer. I often get bitched out for calling attention to psychic vampires, and intellectual thieves. I’m sooo negative, paranoid or downright jealous. *sigh*. That’s when I leave. I’ve called out a warning and it’s often ignored. Okay, moving on.
I seem to do better work, when I’m alone. I’m eclectic in everything I do. Especially when it comes to spirituality, and how I dance my own dance. I’ve had several people ask me if I’d be their guru. Seriously!? Oh, you don’t want to wander down my wild path. You’re better off following your own path and being your own guru. Some self proclaimed, spiritual guides are the most lost. I think. But, then I could be just as delusional. So, all I can do is keep on keeping on. Paint, sculpt, dance and massage, with joy.