Oh, boy, they are out in full force.
Having computer issues, looking for a new place and then deciding to stay where I am. Banning one of my son’s “friends” from our home. Finding out a dear friend’s sister was nearly killed by an ex-boyfriend.. I’ll keep the list short. It’s been a trying, 3 weeks. My psychic armor is cracked and dented. No wonder I’m feeling drained. Too many places for them to stab their straws into, and drink deeply.
Lets start off with the sneaky, subtle ones. They lull you into a false sense of ease with friendly conversation. The next thing you know, you’re giving them way too much information. I see it in their eyes. That dull, bored look has changed to a steely, hungry glitter. Gobbling up your life stories to fill their own, empty lives. They will use your stories against you when it suites them. Showing your soft, underbelly like an obedient dog, seems to give them a sense of power they don’t normally have. Part of me feels sorry for them. part of me wants to go full on Van Helsing on them.
I’m old enough that I should know better than to trust people. I’ve been mentally and emotionally abused all my life. You get used to it. That’s not to say I’m okay with it. Just that I’ve developed some calluses. You learn to pick your battles, or you’ll be fighting all the time.
Somehow, I have retained my childhood naivety. I want believe that people are inherently good and kind. Even though I’ve been painfully disappointed all my life. I still want to believe that wonderful things are going to happen. I’m still waiting. Yeah, I can be sarcastic and sound like a pessimist, but that’s a defensive mechanism. When people find out you’re a soft touch, they descend like vultures on a fresh carcass.
These are just your run of the mill, users. They take whatever you’re willing to give and split the second you need anything. Like the saying goes. “if you give a person $20.00 and never see them again. It was probably worth it.”
Now, what I’m talking about are bad people. They mean to do you harm, or don’t care if you’re harmed in the process of them getting what they want. These are the vampires who actively seek out people to feed on.
I have an occasional client. He travels the world doing charity work. Is that hilarious or what?
The first time we met, he actually told me I had delicious energy. Not creepy at all. At least he was clear about what he wanted. I thought my armor was good enough, but this man is a pro. He drained me and made me feel all kinds of icky! Granted, he tipped lavishly, but it still wasn’t enough. The next time, I thought I was prepared. This is when being physically and mentally fatigued is dangerous. He found a chink in my armor. Thank goodness I didn’t see him for almost a year. I’ve gotten stronger and better at self care. I realize, no one else is going to help me, so I need to help myself.
Last week, he came out of nowhere. I was waiting for another, obnoxious client, when he came in, like Bela Legosi. Even the front desk woman scooted her chair back. He was talking to her about an appointment, but his eyes were on my. I could feel him probing. Tying to find a soft spot to stab his straw into. I wasn’t giving him anything. He left, after making an appointment for later that day. That’s when the front desk, dip shit, “psychic” told me he had called the day before. Looking for me.
She was all creeped out by him and I was calm, but seething. I told her I’d like a heads up on him next time. She’s one of those problem people I work with. Not an ally.
When he came in for his massage. I was ready. Not one ounce of energy came from me. I used my Reiki knowledge to fill him up from the universal fountain. I was polite and engaged in some trivial, conversation, but I was hyper vigilant about protecting myself. I don’t like being that way!
His tip wasn’t as lavish as it had been the past, 2 times. I guess he didn’t get his fill of “my Patricia”. I’m NOT an all you can eat buffet.
I’d love to be more social, really, I would. But, I seem to attract the feeders. It’s usually the ones who profess to be all about love and light. They claim to be healers of one sort or the other. These are the worst. They use this facade like an angler fish uses its glowing dangler. Drawing in little fishes who are looking for help. Wolves in sheep’s clothing. Sadly, in every circle I’ve been in. When I see one of these people, and I call out a warning. I’m the one who gets ostracized. Being told I’m jealous, paranoid or just petty, because I don’t like them. Well, guess what? Those people I warned the others about, always show their true nature to the detriment of the group. I get no apology, ever.
So, I keep to myself. Polish my armor and help those who seek me out as best I can. Even the feeders need compassion. I’m glad I’ve learned to tap into the universe to fill up these empty people. Maybe save a few, tasty empaths out there in the process.
What an interesting life I lead.