I had a recent, slow few weeks, work wise. Being a massage therapist is a feast or famine type gig. I really don’t want to have a second or third job, like so many other therapists. Sadly, it’s a necessity for some. I know I did that dance for a while. Yeah, I had some “disposable” income, but I never had the chance to enjoy it. Now, I am considered poor. I live at or below the poverty line. I guess it’s a perspective thing. I have the basics, and more. Do I struggle sometimes? You bet your sweet assets I do.
Now, I’ve used the down time to make art, do chores, meditate and nap. It’s glorious to be able to do no thing.
Not nothing.. No thing. To not have to be anywhere at a certain time. To not have a list of things that need to be done. To have time to enjoy silence and calm. To talk to myself, uninterrupted. To pamper myself with baths and scented, skin treats.
There are people who I have known and know now; That seem to be obsessed with being busy. They seem to attempt to cram every, waking moment with activity. Over working to make more money. Joining groups and volunteering for things. It’s as if they fear the quiet and solitude. Are they afraid to be alone with themselves? To listen to the yearnings of their heart and soul?
When I home schooled my son for a year. He had a lot of time to himself while I worked. Learning at his own pace and researching things that interested him. He told me that his time alone with himself was one of the best experiences he’s ever had. He got to ponder and get to know himself. Before that, he was troubled and often in trouble at school.
You’re called LAZY if you just want to relax and think. If you’re not doing something “productive” then you’re a drain on the rest of the busy, “productive” people around you. Really? I think they’re just jealous. Filled with guilt and burdened with debt that keeps them busy. I know because I was there. A single parent with bills. Working a job I hated with people who hated their jobs, too. Wanting to take a vacation that lasts more than a week and not spend the whole year paying for it.
I want to be able to spend a ridiculous amount of time in a garden. Growing things for myself and others who can’t. Meditating while playing in the dirt is the best. I was married to a man who thought I did little to nothing. Even though the house was clean, the garden pristine, and dinner ready when he got home. We didn’t have children, so it was easy. I had time to create art, too. But, I wasn’t earning money, so it didn’t count. That’s one of my pet peeves as an artist. If you’re not making money then it’s not “work”. Really? I dare you to say that to any, stay at home mom.
The devil makes work for idle hands. That’s the crap I grew up on. Sitting under a tree and contemplating life is not allowed.
So, enough with the glorification of busy. Give me a hammock, some trees and the sounds of nature. I’ve got some thinking to do.