I’ve been processing so much stuff. Trying to be Zen about childhood traumas that have shaped who I am. Wondering if I’m really difficult to love or I’m just hanging around the wrong people. I’ve been gathering friends who love my directness and oddness. Of course, family is going to be hard on you. Right? I never did fit in too well at family gatherings. I used to think that I was secretly adopted or that I was a faery changeling. Then, I grew up to look just like my dad’s mom. Okay, so maybe I just inherited all the awesome and unique genes. I can live with my otherness.
Being single doesn’t mean I’m broken or incomplete.
My latest tattoo in process. I’ve always loved the Cheshire cat. This one looks like he’s had a rough time of late. But, he keeps that insane grin going. Maybe, he’s been wearing one of the Hatter’s hats for too long. There will be a bat, music and maybe a bit of lightning coming out of the top of the hat. When it’s finished.
I’m the only one of my siblings to be tattooed and the only one who hasn’t been arrested.
The monsoon weather is amazing. Even if every arthritic joint in my body throbs like a tooth ache. This too shall pass.
I’d like to break my news and current event addiction. I was once told by a friend. “You’re the most hopeful person I know.” It’s becoming more and more difficult to see the bright side of things and give people the benefit of the doubt. People and the world are constantly breaking my heart. We need to radically change or go down in oily, toxic flames. The time for debate and study as long past. Old men with no worries of suffering the future are making decisions that will never affect them. I worry about all the children who are doomed to live on a planet that’s changed so much in my lifetime. Mass extinctions, acidic oceans, carbon dioxide overload, rolling, catastrophic, weather events. How much money does it take to blind one to the obvious?
There are so many new people at work. The office manager just left and I feel like I don’t belong. Like a few are gunning for my position and thinking. “Why haven’t you left?” Well, I will eventually. I’m gathering my resources slowly. I have too many clients that I don’t want to leave high and dry. I’d like to make sure they have a good, replacement therapist if they don’t want to follow me. I’m not a total bitch.
I need to paint more. It’s been helpful and hurtful. Bringing up ancient crud for me to deal with. Strange, how the mind can give shape and form to pain and make it beautiful.
Oh. to have room for my sculptures and masks. I really need to be better at promoting myself. I’d love to showcase my art in my massage studio.
Yes, those are eyeballs in the cloud.
Alright, then. Another episode of self therapy through blogging. Time to get back to the world.