I want to call out humanity on its amazing, self-destructive, stupidity.
Okay, maybe not every human. There are a few of us who are trying to make life better by evolving and encouraging others.
I’ve been fighting “the good fight” since I can remember. I’m 51 years old! I’m exhausted. Pollution, war, genocide, extinction.. It never ends. How has humanity lasted as long as we have? We’ve been trying to wipe ourselves out since the dawn of time. Killing anyone who isn’t “us”. The collateral damage to the rest of earth’s inhabitants is unacceptable! Big game hunting so someone can feel like an apex predator needs to stop. Kill yourself, please. I grew up on a farm. If an animal was not “right.” If it shit where it ate. It was put down. Darwin is twirling in his grave.
The USA has “elected” a greedy, selfish, moron to “lead” our country. His supporters threaten a civil war if he’s indicted for any of the crimes he and his family/minions are accused of. Talk about snow flakes. Time to thin the herd.
Now, on a more, personal level. I’m a highly sensitive person. The family I grew up with either found me to be entertaining or annoying. Depending on weather they needed to attack me or laugh at me. This has been my life. Fine.
I don’t go out much. People in large groups exhaust me. But, once in a while, I’ll acquiesce and go out. I’m always reminded why I don’t go out. This past experience has me wanting to hide under my bed. I went to dinner at a person’s house with my parents. This person is a client and my tax guy. He’s always been nice to me. A male friend of his was there. I felt safe with my parents. I’m not dating anyone and I’m not interested. I didn’t “dress up”. After dinner, I find myself literally, cornered. This guy starts hitting on me.
“Oh, you’re a masseuse?” He leans in over the table. I quickly correct him. “Masseuse is NOT the correct term. I’m a massage therapist.” He brushes it off and starts telling me how much he likes white, red headed women. Then my mom has to mention how well I cook. FUCK!! He’s even more interested. Goes off on all the drugs he’s done and the rehab.. family issues… bullshit he’s been through. Oh, boy! Sounds like someone I want to date.. NOT!!! I mention my discomfort over the situation to my parents a few days later. They thought it was FUNNY!
“You’re a big girl. You can handle it.”
Yeah, I handled it, but felt assaulted and creeped out. The guy who hosted the dinner apologized to me when I was leaving. Guess who’s not going over for a dinner party ever again?
Just because you find me attractive. Doesn’t mean I want/need your attention. People find out I’m 51 and single and immediately assume I’m desperate for attention. I’m not.
I learned a long time ago to appreciate my own company. I’ve worked at becoming someone of interest. If you think, “Red hair,white, tall, big boobs,massage therapist.. PERFECT!” Fuck off. I’m so much more. Don’t be that person who licks off the frosting of the cupcake and discards the rest. You’re an asshole.
I’m single but I’m not broken.
I follow and try to donate to Sea Sheppard Society and Doctors without Borders. Our world is mighty, fucked up. Sea levels rising. Ice shelf breaks off and no one gives a fuck. They’re too busy checking how many likes they got on their idiotic post. I’m so tired and damn close to giving up. When is this, “great awakening” going to happen?
As long as I can remember. All I wanted was to travel, meet interesting people, make the world a better place, and find someone who was willing to meet me halfway. I don’t believe in “soul-mates” anymore. I believe in two people willing to work together to be happy and safe.
I’m tired of being treated like a needs dispensing machine.