In my work I get to meet a lot of people. Today I’m going to talk about the ones who give so much that they’ve forgotten that they also need to be cared for.
I tell my clients that whatever the length of their massage that it’s all about them and to leave the work to me. Some are so unaware of their helpful nature and stress levels that they try to help me when I’m doing any range of motion or stretches on them. Even after a gentle reminder to relax, breath and receive. It’s especially hard for women. We’re taught at such a young age to be helpers. To never complain and always be gracious. That’s all fine and good, but when do we learn self care? When do we learn boundaries and to politely refuse to help when we’re depleted?
I’ve been guilty of and still have relapses of being overly helpful. People get used to you being a never ending source of favors. I’ve lost “friends” when I’ve had to refuse them. They don’t care that you’re running on fumes and need to recharge. Forget about them helping YOU out. Then, suddenly you’re selfish, mean, and don’t know the meaning of friendship. Good-bye parasites!
Too many of my female clients are so stressed out from being that wellspring of giving. They put up with back stabbing co-workers, lazy kids and spouses, ridiculous work schedules and little down time. Getting a massage is the peak of indulgence for them. I do my best to make it a wondrous experience. I remind them that it’s okay to receive.
I don’t know who to quote, but I was once told. “You can not serve from an empty vessel.” We need to be reminded that it’s alright to care for ourselves. We’re not being selfish. It’s called self preservation and it’s hard wired into our brains.
So, no guilt, or excuses. Be good to yourself. It’s okay.