It’s been a while. I’ve been wondering how to express myself on a few, triggering subjects.
Let us begin with the lesser of two evils. Massage divas. Those in the profession know these assholes all too well. They think their massage is the best in the world. Their egos fill the room with a disgusting funk. In my experience it’s mostly men, and they condescendingly over educate their clients and anyone else in ear shot. They are all knowing and don’t think for a moment that they’re going beyond their scope of practice. How could they? They know it all! I have been physically intimidated by a co-worker when I called him out of his obnoxious, egotism. This man is a pro mind fucker. He ingratiated himself with everyone he could so when anything questionable about his behavior came up.. No one would believe it because he’s “Such a nice guy.” Needless to say, the boss asked us both to apologize to each other. I never got mine.
Then, we have the askholes. The guy who keeps asking the same question, worded differently to several, people hoping someone will give him the answer he wants. When he doesn’t get the answer he wants. He does what he was going to do anyway and feigns deafness when confronted about his asshole behavior. Oh, but his massage is soooo good and he’s still going to school for medical massage and… whatever! I hate double standards and the people who expect them. Then, they call in sick when they don’t get their way.
My favorites are the students and fresh out of school pukes. I was a teaching assistant at a local massage school for a month. One day a week I had to put up with entitled, eye rolling, millennials who didn’t give a fuck that I had over 10 years experience in the massage world. When I tried to correct posture or hand placement. These rotten shits would roll their eyes and tell me that’s how they did it and were comfortable doing it like that. “You’re not going to last long in this field.” I would growl and move along to the next asshole. These people weren’t even out of school and already they’re divas. Fantastic. No wonder I get so many clients who complain about student clinic massages.
Okay, ladies, we can be assholes, too. The petite, whiny little bitches who complain about having to do deep tissue massage. Fuck you. I have a therapist who’s tiny and yet, she gives a hell of a deep massage. It’s basic physics, learn how to use leverage! Wouldn’t we all love to give easy, fluff and buff massages? I’ve worked with some dainty flowers who bitch and moan about not wanting to do deep tissue or they can’t bring themselves to do more than 3 massages in a day! Get out of the way of those who can and do, Bambi.
Now, I’ve met and worked with therapists who do have excellent skills and they do have a reason to brag. But, to constantly go on about how awesome they are and humblebrag about how they hope their awesomeness isn’t interfering with the other therapist’s bookings. They also speak about clients and how not everyone has “earned” certain techniques because of behavior, attitude, or body odor. WTF!? That ruins the whole package. Ego ruins everything. I would not want a massage from someone if I knew they would talk shit about me and judge me. This is another reason why offering a safe space for people is so important.
Get the fuck over yourselves, divas! In the long run, you are replaceable.