This past week has been wave after wave of clients who want DEEP tissue. Not the “I just want to feel it” deep tissue but the “I’m so numbed out I need pain to feel” deep tissue.
Now, I’ve been schooled in body mechanics and can use leverage to get in there, but for fucks sake people! I’m not going to ruin my body and end my career so you can feel like you got a massage. I’m talking to you, hairy man with a stressful job who rolls your eyes at me after I tell you I have a lot of clients who want deep tissue. Do you doubt I can lay into that monkey on your back and make it cry?
Woman with the back stabbing co-workers and government job, who’s trying to save the government/tax payers some money when everyone else just sees a blank check and no accountability. I’m glad you’re on a regular schedule of massage. Please, stop booking two appointments for the week and punk out on the second one at the last minute just because you’re sore from the first one. I have other clients who need my services and you gave me no time to reschedule.
To the masochists who take delight in challenging me to iron out their shit. “You’ll never be able to go deep enough.” “I’m the most messed up person you’ll ever work on.”
I wish I could just tell them to stop wasting my time then and fuck off. They’re not interested in self care. They just want you to know how tough they are despite their problems and to make you feel inadequate.
Could I get some CEU’s for taking a class or two on counseling people? Holy shit! I hold space for so many people and listen to their problems. Some are heartbreaking and I end up crying with them. Does anyone think about how that affects me? I’m painfully empathic and go to great lengths to clear myself at the end of the day. I’m not perfect and some of that shit sticks. I get angry and depress out of nowhere and have to sit and wonder where this dark matter came from.
I need to get more bodywork myself! It’s hard when you are very particular and my schedule doesn’t jive with the therapists I like. I hate having to settle on a therapist who doesn’t listen to a fucking thing I’ve said. I know what I need and have preferences. Don’t be a fucktard and try to chat me up during the treatment and ignore my requests. I’m trying to be in my body and participate in the treatment. Thanks for shitting on my meditation sandwich.
If you bathe regularly, you don’t need to douse yourself with that gag worthy cologne. Seriously, stop it! Clients get a pass, but a therapists who comes to work wearing the latest version of Ape Scent Gloriola. You need to be pepper sprayed and chucked into a cold bath. You’ve just funked up the office and potentially made a scent sensitive client and/or therapist gag and suffer a terrible headache. Way to go, numb nuts.
Ah, writing is such sweet therapy. Chocolate doesn’t hurt either.