When I was going to massage school. The teachers warned the men that they would have a harder time getting massage work than the women. Most people feel more comfortable with a female. That is a fact, in massage.
Men, in general, have tender egos. I’ve worked with male therapists and I’m sad to say that most of them have been egotistical, whiny, self-important, cunts. They cry discrimination when they think they’re not being booked enough. There are a lot of people who have a female preference. There are also some people who want a male. Most of them don’t think a woman is strong enough to give them the pressure they want. Insert eye roll.
I worked with a male therapist who consistently, over-educated his clients. Going beyond his scope of practice and acting like he had all the answers. He had several complaints for his talking too much, before, during and after a treatment. He didn’t do “relaxing” massages. It was more like a PT visit with oil and music. He also had regular clients who like his work. It takes all kinds. One of my teachers told me. “You’ll attract the type of client who needs your work.” She was right.
A lot of men don’t feel comfortable with a man touching them. For whatever reason. There it is.
Now, I’ve been avoiding this subject for a while now. As a sexual assault survivor. This subject hits close to home. We have all experienced the “happy ending” jokes aimed at female therapists. It’s not funny. If you were wondering. What happens when a male therapist is propositioned? I heard about a female client who brazenly, told the front desk woman, over the phone; her male massage therapist was so sexy that she had to finish herself off in the car afterwards. Eww! Apparently, she was banned from that studio.
Another reason why women are not comfortable with male therapists is a fear of inappropriate behavior. Some are sexual assault survivors with PTSD. Some are modest due to culture or personality. Sometimes it’s a female bonding, soul sister, energy thing. Some of us want to feel safe as we lay there, naked, under a sheet and maybe a blanket, too. It’s hard to relax when you’re worried that some careless or perverted man will expose your naughty bits, or worse.
There is a story of a male therapist. I’m not sure how much is true and how much conjecture. This therapist had a long run at a well established studio. He was involved in the community and had lots of loyal clients. In this field, you eventually meet a lot of therapists at workshops. I met him. He gave off the vibe a child molester might. Too friendly and helpful. Ingratiation himself as much as possible. “Everyone must love me” behavior. He gave me the creeps but I just kept it to myself. Everyone else was too busy adoring him. That was years ago.
So, I was surprised, not surprised when the word got around about his being fired for.. Being creepy with clients. How “creepy” I don’t want to know. It upset me so much to hear about this. I wondered how long it had been going on before someone actually complained? I did some research and was horrified. The first, two, random blogs I hit, on the subject of inappropriate, male therapists. One woman, had her vagina exposed, but said nothing out of embarrassment. Oh, and the therapist was cute. The second one made me quite looking and go fix myself a drink. This was a woman who liked a cheap, manly massage. “Woman can’t go deep enough for me.” Uh huh.. She likes to frequent the oriental “Parlors”. Well, the male “therapist” fingered her while she pretended to be asleep. How do you sleep through that!? She’s the equivalent of the creepy, man looking for a happy ending. Her blog post started with an explanation of her typos. She needed to brag about her experience before her husband got home. It was gross and celebratory. She loved the attention. Mentioning that being over 40 does a job on your self esteem. I guess being fingered by a strange, Asian man made it all better.
I myself prefer a female therapist. Not because I fear being assaulted. I know I can end a treatment at any time for any reason. I tell my clients this. This is their treatment, not mine. Too bad most of the male therapists I’ve had don’t mention this. They wave their ego around and try to silence me with a look that says. “Shush, silly woman. I know exactly what you need.” They don’t. I’m a therapist, too! I am very clear what I need and want. Don’t be a condescending, cock stain and tell ME what MY body needs. You don’t live here! Women are more, (Not always) understanding and supportive of your process. Men can be bossy and dismissive.
Granted, there are a lot of women who like to be bossed around. (50 Shades of abuse) They love being told what’s wrong with them and how to fix it. Some just want some male attention and male escorts are expensive and illegal.
Some lesbians just don’t want anything to do with men. I had a friend who was a separatist. She didn’t hate men. Just didn’t want anything male around her. Ironically, she was very proud of her mustache. It was impressive. I miss her.
So, men who want to be massage therapists. Good luck and don’t be a dick bag.