I’m almost 50 years old. I should have learned this lesson long ago.
Most people don’t operate on my level. Not to say I’m on a higher one, just different and it’s mighty lonely here. I mistakenly assume people I’m dealing with are good and honest. I give most people the benefit of the doubt. Even when my gut tells me otherwise. I WANT to believe most people aren’t selfish, mean, liars who get a kick out of using and abusing living beings.
That said. Here we go. If you decide to do a trade with anyone. Treat it like a loan. Be clear in your arrangement and get that shit in writing!
My tattoo artist, who is usually a mellow, flexible dude went full on passive aggressive, hypocrite on me. We had an appointment. This after I told him I would pay the house fee or give him a massage. Not both. I’ve banked many massages with him in the past, 3 years. I’ve worked on him with little notice. I’ve dropped by at our scheduled time and he has something going on that he forgot to tell me about. I let it slide. I’m pretty chill most of the time and believe in picking my battles. It became so common that I expected it. Tattoo appointments that he forgot about and begging me to last minute babysit because one of his friends flaked. I can roll with chaos. So, I’ve put up with this guy’s rude, inconsistent behavior for way, too long. This is another lesson. Don’t stay in any kind of relationship when you’re being disrespected. Not for the kids, not for the money and not for the promised tattoos. Cut your losses and run.
I dared to ask if I could reschedule our appointment. I did NOT cancel. I asked if we could reschedule. I sent a text first thing in the morning. Our appointment was for 6pm. I heard nothing from him. 2pm I text again to see if he got my message. My phone blows up with a wave of angry texts. Apparently my simple request totally fucked up his day. He told me I couldn’t just late cancel all the time. He had to call the babysitter. *gasp* If I wanted to get work done I’d have to leave a deposit next time. Because he has 2 kids and his baby mamma is working. He needs to run a tight ship. Blah, blah, blah.
So, now I’m looking into another tattoo artist. I will pay for the work this time. They better be willing to work with another artist’s work. My guy wasn’t. They need to listen to me and not just do whatever they think is best. Don’t be stoned when you ink me! Respect how I process pain. Don’t ridicule me for not being fucking numb.
I have a therapist friend who started out with a trade deal with her land lady. She also learned a lesson in being clear with the agreement and to get it in writing. The trade deal deteriorated quickly into something like my trade deal. Suddenly you find yourself being treated like a bitch on a leash. You’re expected to be on call and willing to work at a moments notice. Like these people are doing YOU a favor by taking your trade. Good grief! Trade deals suck if there’s any hint of imbalance. I thought I needed my artist to finish the piece on my back. Now, I’m liking the idea of a blended style piece.
I hope I can be strong and not let people’s masks fool me. I want to err on the side of caution and not be so gullible. It breaks my heart to find out most people are really selfish cunts and they are drawn to me like ants to sugar. Maybe I won’t be so sweet.